I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
