and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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