if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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