I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
