haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
