Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
