Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
