if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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