Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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