You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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