I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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