she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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