Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize