Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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