Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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