RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
