this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just pee around me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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