He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
my poor anus
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize