i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
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You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you