Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first