Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize