she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty