if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
