I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize