How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My ATM looks so different sober.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
