he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
