So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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