all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
