He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
