I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
