i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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