I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
