return my video game
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
