They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
no, he came in my armpit
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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