1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?