i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?