It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's shark week go big or go home
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life