matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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