Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway