So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am