I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Im at strip club and am horny
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she told me i tasted like america
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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