What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize