My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
