Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
