all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
