Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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