smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize