im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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