I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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