dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
