what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
