Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
