census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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