if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
