My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's never too late to be topless.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
