Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
NoShamevember. You game?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
