Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
