theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
