Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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