You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
