I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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